Many times, when a couple decides to have sex for the first time, they are “in the moment” and it doesn’t seem like an appropriate time to talk things through. When couples like these come to us at CAPS Pregnancy Clinics, they’re often dealing with some fear and confusion. They need a safe, welcoming, judgment-free place to turn to.
Sometimes we meet with couples who are anxious or worried about a possible pregnancy or contracting an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection) or STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease). Self-worth and emotions are also closely connected to sex, and sometimes one of the partners may feel their relationship has become too physical and has lost or never had real substance. Here are some things to consider before you decide to have sex, whether for the first time ever or first time with your partner.
Questions to Ask Yourself Before Having Sex
Don’t jump into bed without asking yourself these questions and discussing with your partner as well.
- Am I feeling pressured to have sex (by my partner or by my peers)?
- Do I see a future together with my partner?
- What impact will sex have on our relationship?
- What impact would a pregnancy have on our relationship?
- Am I prepared to be a parent?
- What are my current goals? Will a baby fit into the future I have planned for myself?
- How do I think my partner will respond if there’s an unplanned pregnancy?
- Do I have a strong support system in case I get pregnant? Or if this relationship ends?
- When was the last time I was tested for an STD / STI?
- Has my partner been tested for STD / STI?
If you have any hesitation, need resources, or want to talk to someone, you can always talk to someone at CAPS. Our Patient Care Specialists and Medical Team are here to discuss your fears and concerns and answer your questions. We provide a safe, understanding, judgment-free place where your privacy matters. You can have a thoughtful conversation with someone who can help provide insight and education.
At CAPS, we offer support to help you sort through your emotions, find your voice, and answer questions you may have when you are facing decisions regarding your sexual health or unplanned pregnancy. All pregnancy services are free. All of our services are confidential—your privacy matters. Make an appointment online or call us at 619-337-8080 to schedule an appointment at one of our three locations in Downtown San Diego, SDSU College Area, or Pacific Beach.
More information – STI / STD
Sexually transmitted infections (also known as STIs, or STDs for ‘sexually transmitted diseases,’ or VD for ‘venereal diseases’) are infections that are commonly/have a high probability of being spread from person to person through sexual contact. The term STI is broader and more encompassing because some infections are curable and may not cause any symptoms. If the infection results in altering the typical function of the body, it is then called a disease. So that’s why you may hear people say STIs – it’s technically more accurate and also reminds people that there are often no symptoms so it’s important to get STI / STD tested. (Source: University Health Center, University of Maryland)